Saturday, February 09, 2008

coincidence saves time

i didn’t make it snow
he could have told me no
didn’t drive it very far
when i wrecked my brother’s car

i need someone to blame
the car will never be the same
it was easy what I did
i braked on ice and slid

it could have been a garbage can
but no, I slid into his insurance man
not just the man, he was in his car
you know how coincidences are

Friday, February 08, 2008

meri's idea

print it on clothes, on your car and on your cat
“The world needs more”

line ‘em up and fill it to overflow
look below and get the rest of it

no need counting anything
just take it all, keep loading

when you’re pumping gas – don’t stop
don’t save anything, use it all
why do you think there are super-stores?

fill me, thrill me, bill me later
high speed loop de loop
counterfeit the brand names
withdraw it all

several credit cards will help
jam it, damn it
limits are made to be broken
what are records for?

Thursday, February 07, 2008

market analysis

holy catfish the markets diving
and won’t come up for air
all your trouble is like a bubble
when it pops sit back and stare

no need to hurry if you want to worry
you’ve got the time to spare
but hold that frown, cause it’s going down
every stinking where

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

some history

first the sumerians began to write
then envelopes with glue came about after they found
a dead horse stuck to the sidewalk

then the post office made stamps
more horses turned up missing

when mail started getting lost
they blamed it on the pony express
and raised the price of stamps

they tried morse code, radio, town criers, tv and computers
not in that order
but letters and envelopes wouldn’t go away
hallmark was happy
and the price of stamps went up

bulk rates for advertisers were invented
and immediately the rates went down

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

when you wash socks

when you wash socks
be sure to count them
pair them up
do not count them in the dirty laundry
it is not advised

but you damn well better line up your ducks
excuse me, socks, when you take them out of the dryer
and try not to stare at the dryer spinning

you heard about crazy kids climbing into dryers
and getting spun nuts – well I want to warn you
the same thing is true
about staring at spinning dryers
it can spin you nuts, bro!

so the moral of this is to pair up your socks
immediately after taking them out of the dryer.
Or else

Monday, February 04, 2008

meri drove

It rained and thundered on and off in the early morning. First we’d call it off, then it’d quit raining and it was on again. We had rented a car on line, just for the day, and finally decided to take a bus to the Termini and get our car.

Fine. We showed up at the Termini and they had no knowledge of our reservation. No trace, no how, no car, no way, no shit!

At the next counter, three inches away a polite girl for another company had a car and a good price. We were on our way. Meri drove us around Sabina.
More about Sabina at another time.

When we got the car back, we went down to the office, Meri used the bathroom while I had to go back up to the fourth floor of the parking lot and drop off the car keys, put them in a slot in a box. I thought it was a good trick just finding the box and figuring out that was where the keys are dropped.

When I came back down, I nodded toward the bathroom and the guy behind the glass slipped me a metal door handle with a square block on it that fit where the door handle goes. I have taken a few door handles apart so I knew what the thing he gave me was for. How do others do it?

Later, on the way out, I asked the guy behind the glass if tourists had difficulties. Yes, with the door handle, but finding a gas station and getting the car back to the rental place also. He said the Italians have trouble. Even the people that work there have trouble getting to work. Nothing is easy for anybody, ever.

“Yeah, but Roma is bella,” I told him. We laughed.

Sunday, February 03, 2008


writing’s a bit
like digging a pit
you have to know
how deep to go

and what do you do
when that work is through?
You cover that lover
and start on another