to mom and dad,
uncles and aunts
neighbors Phil and Rosey,
the kids i grew up with,
the women i've loved,
to my kids and theirs.
stack ‘em up,
all the way down.
to creeks jumped
and those fallen into.
bridges crossed,
those ducked under.
to all frogs and the fish,
the birds and the clouds,
rain in the forest,
over brambles, through fields,
and down long highways.
in sun, snow and heavy sea,
flowers, weeds and vegatebles - this is it:
a salute to the finish
of the first decade,
in this twenty-first Century.
for bygones well done,
the best to you from me.
Friday, December 31, 2010
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5 comments:
Happy New Year, Jack!
This one is all wrong, this poem.
I rushed and overshot.
How coulc I have a decade to write about
and rush it the last day?
It mentions too many things that have nothing to do with the decade.
now, Take that - whap.
and, Let this be a lessson to you.
You, as they say "are your own worst critic". But you are right. The first part reads like a tribute to life and the second (last stanza) a tribute to the last ten years. You could easily split them into two and they would stand alone. Left alone it is still a good read, more so a second and third time. I wanna be like you when I grow up Jack... but you are soooooo much older.
TomC, I had an entire reply written for you,
then I evaporated it.
the photons have left a smell like ozone
– that means good intentions,
for you and for Annie too
for your comments and attention.
And, TomC, you are right. this poem was a big wrap up that I changed, into an end of the year thing.
And, TomC, don’t get going about age,
and how old you are
and how old I am,
when the truth is: together
we are the age Lincoln has been dead,
minus a decade, and
that happens to be
the decade that we just finished.
mystery solved.
we will sleep better tonight and
live better electrically,
and was that you who gave my address
to AARP?
In the first stanza i would change the line "the kids i grew up with," to something that would rhyme better with the other three lines. There's some line in each stanza that doesn't quite rhyme, but hey all poem don't have to rhyme thats just me. i enjoyed reading this and look forward to continue reading your work
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