feeling down

yeah, okay so feeling down is depressing
but not so bad as repeated beanballs to the noggin,
when you realize we've all done it
up is the only way to go from there

you'll get by, this too shall pass
you won't make the record book
so turn the corner, get over it
hey, are these words of comfort, or what?

love in California

heart of steel
love is real
money in a vault
you know my ways
i love your ways

want to go
now you know
headlines all i read
you know my ways
i love your ways

one thing to warn you
there's love in California
oh, honey
you know my ways
and i love your ways

sand

elbows, butt and heels in the sand
neck bent upwards with face to the hazy sun
an occasional wave can reach me
my son in the sand can teach me
it's june and i'm having fun

birds picking trash in the wash
i'm following them walk the line the waves make
just watching in a half-cool light wind
as our sand castles crumble again
tuesday afternoon and there's nowhere i have to be

some other time, tomorrow and yesterday can't find me
i'm buried to my ankles in the sand
the waves repeat the ten thousand things
that, and the wind, makes my ers ring
jon is pointing, but i can't hear what he's saying

mowers of lawn

we drove south
saw long lawns and riding mowers
couldn't belive they don't plant
flowers and trees, make gathering areas

i use a Brill push mower
it's light and easy
what She doesn't plant
i mow quickly

no gas, no oil
start and stop when i want
take a break, work in pieces
i had a five dollar used push mower

but the gears wore out
fifty years will do it
wait and see, after fifty years
your gears will be worn

weed

i yanked a weed today
then She helped me

address the weed
become one with the weed

that's the only way you get them out of the ground
that was my lesson

in fifty thousand years the star people will say
She really knew how to do it

everything we are

as we read words of those gone,
now off in somewhere out of sight,
nothing is left of their times
only recorded shards remain

memories are slim fragments
that don't do justice to the fullness felt
when it was us, when we were then
all slips from present tense to nearly forgotten

history is nothing in this world
lessons standing only in the telling
anachronistic flickers
out of time, out of place

so as you move ahead each day
do pay attention to every moment
and do your best to make good ripples
in the changing seas of time

mini vacation

pack our wheels
got a map
all set now
hit the road

after some freeway
we're in the open
see the trees
barns, hills and fences

let's stop to eat
need gas, got to pee
there's a motel with a pool
this is far enough

sometimes just a
change of pasture
is all an animal needs
to be content

my daughter

such a little thing
one time we called her Squint Frumpy
less than one arm long
lying on her side
not quite asleep anymore
content in her world
now we call her Binky
my daughter

lamp light

street lamp light
at night
so bright
give me a break

it keeps me awake
if i want to read a book at home
i'll turn on my own light

these are neighborhood city lights
tax money is paying for the
overloud of illumination
pissing it away and masking the stars

street light
so bright
first lamp
i see tonight
i wish i may
i wish i might
have an axe
and chop you down

frog one-one

Hah! And you thought you were through with frogs. Look, even serious poets can go overboard. Here I am treading water. . .

Frog one-one

i got in the car
and drove to the shopping plaza
it was about empty and i was going slowly
driving in circles
in the parking lot
my brain was on overdrive

my turn signal on
it blinked, but i didn't
until i nearly ran out of gas
and then nearly cried when i realized it was true
cause i triple checked, twice
there was no store called
Frog Aid

i want to explain, dear reader
we saw them, well she pointed them out to me
now there are four
like a Sergio Leone movie
four, tall in the saddle
well, . . . in the pond

and she says they're the same four
"Which same?" i yelled

"Say that three times fast," she said
as she did it, "Which same, which same, which same."

i tried and couldn't do it
once i had to read a commercial for Misses Pauls Fish Sticks in L.A. at KBIG
and i finally turned it over to Dave the Slave in the midnight cave,
another announcer, cause i couldn't say fish sticks smoothly

"which same" gave me the same trouble
as fish sticks

but my gut feeling told me
these are all new guys
four hiding, sneaking frogs
lurking out there
waiting for sundown

i drove home, cause i knew what i had to do

"frog one one, may I help you," the voice said with authority

"That's what I want to know. There's four in the pond."

i heard him drop the phone

then, "Is anyone at home?" he asked.

"I'm calling from home."

"Get out of town!" he said.

"I'm on my way."

"No, I mean are you kidding?" he asked.

"Uh, . . . what part?"

dial tone

that was two hours ago
i've been back at the shopping plaza parking lot
driving in more circles
determined to find a
Frogs Are Us
. . . i need to make a donation

side note

did you plan well?
i know there's more than you expected
did life fall into place for you?

how it goes today,
what you are doing
is how you are spending your life
get used to it

i hope you're loving it

a small hometown parade

we had our hometown parade
this rolling cloudy, mostly sunny, humid, hot day
and, in no time, it has us
cheering them marching

there was a car blaring music for
miniature brightly costumed baton spinners
smiling snappy-proud as could be,
people from decorated flatbeds threw handfuls of candy,
big guys in customized '52 Chevy pickups waved,
our fire truck waltzed by and gave a siren blast,
candidates ran from their cars handing out campaign brochures,
the high school band played the spirited school song

my friend ran behind his house to roll up his car windows
the forecast said it would rain later
and then, as bagpipers strode by just starting Anchors Away
the sky opened with an instant deluge
pounding cannons of heavy downpour flooded the street,
candy washed down the drains

everyone ran laughing for shelter under trees and front porches
then two minutes later
the soaked ones continued happily on their warm sloppy trek
parades can't just stop,
and their rides home were a long drizzling walk away

what joy
God love 'em
for showing the best of what little towns are made of,
here's a day i'd gladly live again

psycho mom and me

figuring something out
is not easy
that's why it takes time
and why everyone hasn't done it at least once already
maybe no on has figured out anything yet
i suppose some are working on it

the tough thing is the question
what exactly are we supposed to be figuring out?
now i am speaking in vagaries here, not specifics
people do resolve minor problems
like how to fix something broken
or how to make a better toaster or hamburger cooker

but lets stay vague
vague is where we are, remember that
it's where we live when you take away
everything scheduled and programmed for us

now, life? course of action?
these sound like possibilities for specifics
that need resolution

years ago i wrote a few pages description of some answer
to resolve the question of
being in the present moment.
i typed it up and gave it to my mother
that was a hell of a stupid thing to do, i know,
but i had figured out life
and thought it'd be great to share it with my mom
so she'd have the answer and feel good too

i remember she just looked at what i gave her,
didn't care about or understand my explanation of what i
had written, and after she tried to read it
she had a questioning look on her face
i think she might have asked me if i was all right,
meaning, was i crazy

it is one thing to have a momentous transcendental thought
complete in your mind
and quite another to try to put it quickly into words on
paper for your mother, a woman who essentially didn't give
a shit
mom was not a thinker of what anyone would call heavy thoughts
she thought about what she was going to make Chester for dinner

at the time i was inspired by Ram Dass - aka Richard Alpert
and the stuff i gave her was about living in the present.
Be Here Now was his book and i had a recording of a lecture he gave
it was deep, he taught at Harvard and dropped a lot of acid
and smoked a lot of dope with Timothy Leary
my mom was a Canadian Club and water woman
and i know she had some fear of water, as in the lake
it all somehow relates to the way she thought,
how her mind processed material
"mow the yard"
that's how she thought
and that was a bit of a digression to this discussion
but, as mom would have done
i think i'll leave it at that

a penny from everyone

so what do you do with sixty million
do you go to the disco with paris hilton
wear your nice shoes and cool clothes
i mean, go where she goes
or, okay, maybe with her
yeah, then what do you do for an encore?

do you have eight wide, large-screen TVs all in a circle
and sit in the middle
spinning on a revolving chair
and eat popcorn
pulling it out'a your hair
and drink wine
watching all the time
with volumes all up to the max
until your ears ring?
hey, i'll drink to that, to all that stuff
until my ears ring too

i'm which chew, i am
chew, achew, ahchew
my God, i got the plague
how could that be
when i worked so hard for my money?
i'm dead

excuse me

excuse me, is this seat taken?
no, i mean this seat right here, is it taken?
wait are you joking or what?
well, why can't i see anyone sitting there?

to the restroom? how long ago?
what does she look like
i just wondered
say, did you report her missing?

well, maybe she's not coming back
did you think about that?
i am serious
the movie started and everyone's seated

did she drive, or does she have a friend?
now where are you going?
good luck . . . oh, since you;re leaving
can i have the rest of that popcorn?

in God's eye

in God's eye
in the universe
is the naked oneness of us each
me reflecting you
you reflecting me
playing life
from the center
up for love
down for fear
if you're alone
am i here?

what do you say

with all the pollen
and the breezes
what do you say
when somebody sneezes?

700 years ago
they said God bless you
to pray that person
didn't have the plague

if you move fast
you can keep out of the way
no one wants a blast
of that lousy spray

so when someone sneezes
why not just shout
hey, you
cut that shit out!

Okay, okay I made
a small error,
only one letter off
in the blog below,
but I'll leave it that way
ass a lesson to myself,
so let that be a lesson to you.

(i did that error for old time's sake)

hello Santiago

you did well to check her for galluses.
winter time - suspenders and i
go everywhere together

in warm weather i can do without
i can do without a lot of things in warm weather

this may be one of the top sites on the globe
in support of suspenders, braces or galluses
maybe
maybe not

a Captain

that man is a sailor
a Captain
there are very few like him, you know
he sits there now in his chair by the window
overlooking the sea, smoking his pipe
thinking about his days at sea
when waves tossed his ship about
and thrashed his crew against the rails
as rain and hurricane winds
fought to see who would be first
to dismember his ship

his eyes now smile in faint recollection
of Pacific ports
where natives gathered to look upon the face
that dared stand against the sea
and where young girls across a table listened
as he told tales of great adventures in unchartered waters
as together they sipped rough wines while slender
native fingers stroked his steal-gray beard

there were ports and storms
and brave men waiting his word
to set course for open waters
and other adventures

his face is firm as leather, yet kind
his hands, strong
her eyes, though old, yet speak with authority
and command the attention he has earned

he went to sea in his youth
and now, in old age, is satisfied to know
his dreams were fulfilled

that man is a sailor
a Captain
there are very few like him, you know