clerks quirks

why do the grocery store clerks always ask for exact change
when the cashiers at our bread store never do?

also at the grocery store if the amount is three-ninety eight
they keep two cents and start counting back change at four

if my bill comes to nine fifty-six
the cashier will pause
look slowly into the cash drawer
wiggle around in there with her fingers five or ten minutes

talk to another employee for a while
then look up with eyes glazed and dead pan face
and ask if I have fifty-six cents
every time

i notice that if i don't move at the speed of lightening
like an old west gun slinger in the movies
she is already back in the drawer making change
the question to me was just something required by law
means nothing

if this were a movie, the director would yell cut
"ok, jack, step aside. we're bringing in a stunt man to go for the exact change. this guy is really fast, incredible."

by the time i have a few coins out to help
she is handing me change
not counting it out, just putting it on the
special plastic place that was built for change
along with my receipt

the bread store rounds off one or two cents
or loads me up with one and two cent pieces
that i carry home and put in a jar
until it's too heavy to lift

i’ve never seen an italian coin wrapper
i think they use buckets and scales
where are the oxen pulling wagons on the street
and big guys riding shot gun

ever since that guy invented the
drop ceilings that are sold all over the world
everyone is looking for another thing that can make a billion bucks and be used everywhere
that's what those change holders are at checkout counters

i expect to see those grocery clerks in their spare time
on the corner asking for change
just to keep in practice