orderly salad order

Memorize this important catchy little salad poem and teach it to your children.

Ohhh, America eats it first
Europe eats it last
to lose weight fast
they say, then hey

vinegar, as in salad,
curbs desire for sugar,
as in desert
don’t you know?

eat salad last some say
can you believe it? don’t rush me now,
salad after main course aids digestion
it also blocks digestion when eaten first

but eat it first and it’s a palette cleaner
salad first curbs appetite to eat less overall
The contents of the stomach are released slowly
into the upper intestine, 1 or 2 teaspoons per minute

in summation: eat salad in the middle
or avoid it altogether, then again,
when they first came to America
the boat ride made everybody sick and confused anyway

final tip for orderly salad eating
use a fork and not you fingers
unless you’re a monkey, then no problem
you won’t eat salad anyway except bananas